Because I'm still laughing

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page paper I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of any importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people' s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

20. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

21. Somestimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. Even when opportunity knocks, you still have to get up off your seat and open the door.

23. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understnad a word they said?

24. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

25. Shirts need washing. Underwear needs washing. Pants? Pants never need washing, and you can wear them forever.

26. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

27. There's no worse feeling that that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

28. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

29. Even under idea condition, people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I bet that everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

Thanks Linsey - I forget how funny those office emails can be sometimes.
*By the way, I'm still laughing...